At what price?
Locating the (bad) conscience
I write. You cry, you scream. I am here with you. Hold on. Please let me finish writing this. Oh, it's not going to work. It would be easier if I stopped trying, but I can't. The mother, the artist, the woman in me are fighting.
I see your father, he's very supportive. But it's as if only a small window has opened in his life. Everything else remains the same for him. I am envious, although I don't want to be. He has a career, I compare diaper sizes. Is this what I wanted? Am I to blame?
I'm with you, my little heart, a year or two, because I think that's best for you. Don't I?
Bad conscience and guilt interfere and influence my decision. But who or what actually creates these feelings of never being able to do anything right?
We are looking for answers on November 26 th 2017 at Tatwerk.
#regrettingmotherhood is performance, lecture, opera and real.
#regrettingmotherhood is taboo, but everyone is talking about it, an internet phenomenon of positions contested.
#regrettingmotherhood is good and bad, free and forced, natural, invented, shimmering, in ruins; is pink and black.
The collective provocatively combines the contradictory, but always unambiguous and always devastating opinions about being a mother with the musical force of opera voices and new music. To mark the end of the Forum Wars, Initiative X Tage 2017 is conducting a four-month music-theatrical laboratory series in cooperation with TATWERK | Performative Forschung to research questions surrounding the #regrettingmotherhood discourse and the mother role images of our present. Together with artists and experts from new music, dance, theater, pedagogy and sociology, and above all with mothers and fathers, she asks why women (should) become mothers, whether the decision to have a child can be reversed, whether it is all normal, and what people might say.
In the lab, the questions are answered for the first time: acoustically, visually, in the form of videos, interviews and images before the resulting documentary material is edited in 2018 and presented to the Berlin audience for the first time in a 20-30 minute showing.
November 26th 2017
TATWERK | Berlin
With and by: Cristina Costes
Das Musik-, Theaterkollektiv INITIATIVE X TAGE wurde 2011 in Berlin von Änne-Marthe Kühn und Thomas Fabian Eder gegründet und bildet als Zusammenschluss von Ko-Aktivist*innen ein offenes Netzwerk, zu dem stets neue Experten und Künstler*innen unterschiedlichster Disziplinen stoßen.